Monday, December 13, 2010

Should I stay or should I go

The following post is informational only.  I don't want to get all dramatic but I am not sure what to do next. I think it's fair to say that I do not use this blog for personal drama. I have always wanted to keep it focused on training and my 'dramas' as they relate to my training schedule, injuries, good times, bad times and making people laugh where possible which is usually pretty easy when I'm talking about falling off my bike or better yet when I plain fall down on a run for no reason.

Sadly I have a stalker. I dated this guy for less than 8 weeks but I was not seriously interested after the first week or two. I told him that and said I would like to keep it casual and he agreed. Over time I became less and less interested so I finally said it was over around the end of October. By that time I had already deleted and blocked him on facebook. I didn't hear from him for a bit and had hoped that radio silence would continue but not with this guy. I knew he was still following my twitter feed and my blog - fair enough - they are public. He emailed me several times and my response was to ask him to leave me alone - DO NOT contact me again. Then I blocked his email and told him that was what I was doing, thinking that should have been the end of it. Nope. He created a fake profile and started commenting on my blog. It was very easy to tell it was him.

But, even though I have shut down every avenue of communication and stated very clearly 'do not contact me again' he just keeps coming back. He has even gone so far as to say 'you are responding to me, you MUST care'. (cue the really creepy music here because that is incredibly alarming).

Over the weekend he posted an inappropriate message directed at me on a triathlon forum and it was then that I protected my tweets and shut down my blog. It made me very sad to do that because I love my twitterverse being open to new people and as well as my blog. I have contemplated making my blog invite only but I have made some terrific bloggy friends and found others blogs because my blog is open (someone even told me they LIKE my blog and found it motivating which is funny cause I'm here because of you guys, not the other way around, but I digress). At any rate, I am totally creeped out to know that this person is not only reading my blog but then he clicks on all of your blogs and stalks my comments there too. In fact, I suspect that he's delusional enough to see this blog entry as positive to our non-existent relationship and feel that if I'm blogging about it that must mean I care about him. 

Now I'm rethinking the decision to shut down the blog because I am not going stop my life because of someone else's "challenges". I am now only concerned that he is contacting random people about me because all other avenues have been closed to him. So the main reason I am posting this now is to say that if a guy messages you and says he is my boyfriend, he is lying. The guy I am dating would not contact friends or blog pals. In fact, normal people just don't do that. So please, if he contacts you please just ignore him and his lies. I sincerely hope he finally leaves me alone. I am going to leave the blog up and hope for radio silence or I'm going to have to take this to the next step. His behaviour is harrassment and I'm done sitting quietly by hoping he'll just go away.

And now back to our regularly scheduled triathlon training posts. I appreciate your patience.

15 comments:

Still Running said...

Glad you're choosing life over hiding from psychopaths. Sorry you're going through this nonsense though. Take care.

Big Daddy Diesel said...

That just sucks, I hope he goes away and you can go back to being your old self

Johan Stemmet said...

Adena
I know Training Payne has issues but never thought they're that serious.
I'll ask Matty-O to go and sort him out.

On a serious note that is just sick. Don't let him rule your life, report him to the authorities

best of luck
Johan

Quinton J said...

damn shame. keep your head up girl...don't let this fruit cake get you down.

She said I need a goal said...

StillRunning-thank you.

BDD, thanks I hope the same thing.

Johan, holy geez I can't stop laughing! I have new place for Matty to use the 'people's elbow'.

Quinton, thanks.. I never did like fruitcake.

Emz said...

i feel your pain.

I do. guess why I don't have a FB or twitter account?!

I think daily about this very same blog thing too.

I hope you can keep it up [blog]. Be careful but don't let the freaks you either.

hoping you stay. :)

Pamela Hutchins said...

You poor thing. I hope you are able to keep up the blog. People understand there are freaks. Hang in there.

JohnP said...

For you stalker types:

Adena touched my penis.

She is mine, get your own.

That is all, carry on.

NotACreepster said...

I created this just so I could respond....hahaha....Babola, I am there if you need me. I know what your going through and I support whatever you do (including getting a blog so you knew I was there for you).....I will check back often...

Cuckoo-a-choo said...

Just ignore the crazy ass and live your life...I hate what he is doing to you!! And for the crazy ass...GIVE IT UP for god's sakes...what is wrong with you????? How would you like someone to find YOU and harass the hell out of you..... Stalker boy???? Leave Adena alone you are making a GIANT ass of yourself....worse than ever I might add!!!

Anonymous said...

You know what I went through with my stalker boy...I called the cops - twice. Don't be afraid to do the same thing. I'm behind you all the way.

...D

Daryl said...

Thinking of you. I look forward to amusing training posts in the future!

For anyone who exhibits the type of behavior described here, take the hint and move on even if it requires some help to do so. It is better for you in the long run, trust me (from past situations I've dealt with through my work).

She said I need a goal said...

Emz, I'm sticking around for a bit, twitter stays locked down and my FB is family and close friends only. :-)

Pamela, thank you, I appreciate your kindness more than you know, my writing HERO.

JohnP - oh my god YOU win.. best comment in blogspot history!

D-I know you completely get this, I'm hoping this goes away soon. Now when are we going hiking?

Notacreepster, please stalk me!! You are such a great support to me, love you loads.

Cuckoo-a-choo, my love for you is far and wide, I'll see you NYE.

Brybrarobry said...

A, first off, I want to say, I'm not your stalker, lets just say I'm looking out for you, like a guardian angel. haha.

In response to Johan, "look, Matty O tried, he gave me his best peoples elbow. I won't lie, it hurt, and I'm still feeling it, but it's not preventing me from contacting and stalking "my pretty'". haha.

In repsonse to JP, okay, I now realize that my stalking ways need to come to an end. If A did touch your penis, she's committed, after all it's not an easy task to try and find it, you have to be committed if you want to touch it. haha.

In all seriousness, I hope the guy who's trying to stay in your life moves on.

My message to the dude creeping you out is "what your doing isn't cool and you may not even be aware your doing it, just move on, there's other fish in the sea". Except for my daughter. haha

B

She said I need a goal said...

Daryl, thank you for your very kind words.

B, you are too funny!! You got JP good! I see retribution soon.